Meghan Trainor and I have a special connection. I’m sure she feels it too. 😉 I’m not a fan of all pop songs, but I’ve never listened to a Meghan song I didn’t like.

That being said, I’ve had the song “My Name is No” stuck in my head for a couple weeks now. Because that song is the soundtrack of my life most days. I say No. A lot.

One unfortunate part of the relationship that exists between Haiti and the rest of the world is that locals tend to look at outsiders as a link to wealth and resources. Patterns throughout Haitian history feeds into the idea that foreigners have hand-outs and money unaccessible without those foreigners.

I signed a giving contract with my organization where I commit to not giving out personal funds. It might be a bigger temptation if I had a lot of money, but I can usually tell people I don’t have that without bending the truth. That fact doesn’t stop people from asking.

So, will I buy you a new phone? No. Cord for your old phone? No. Food for the children in your neighborhood? No. Will I give you the dog I’m walking? No. Will I give you a dollar? No. Chocolate? No. Concrete blocks for your house? No. Pay to care for your aunt’s orphaned baby? No. Your mom told you to make that bracelet and bring it to church to sell to the American for $10 so you could go to school? No.

Somedays it feels dismissive to constantly say no. Somedays it wears me down to the point of exhaustion. But, my name has become no. And I can say, “You’ve gotta let it go!” But, I also understand. If the situation were reversed, I would ask too. I’d ask again too. I’d probably ask every foreigner I saw just in case.

So, it feels really good when I am able to say yes. When the requests come from within our structure and organizational capacity to meet needs, I will do what I can to make that yes happen.

But at the end of the day, I am no one’s provider. Everything I have and am is my Father’s. And He listens to each request. His answers are sometimes unclear, but his name is not No. His name is Love.

And love is the thing I can give without violating any contract. I can acknowledge, respect, and value the people around me. And God can grant me the patience and love to say no.

1 John 4:8b “God is love.”

Daylight Savings always seems to be a difficult adjustment, even though it is only one hour, even though it’s simply going back to where we were a few months ago, even though a little more coffee takes the edge off. But it is especially confusing when you live in Haiti, where they sometimes follow Daylight Savings, sometimes they don’t, and most commonly, they do, but they don’t expect anyone to know about it and plan for everything to start late for a couple weeks…

Which brings us to last night’s EKS meeting, that only four people (including me and my translator) showed up to, when there is usually 12-15 in attendance. Without a leader or a plan, I suggested a short prayer and that we share with each other our favorite scripture passages and why they were important to us. This is an exercise I have observed a few times in Haiti now, and I love that no one hesitates. Beloved scriptures are always right in the forefront of memory and eager to be shared.

I was especially impressed by one woman who handed her Creole Bible over to the translator to read Psalm 46. As he read, she recited the words out loud with him in Creole and I read along silently in English.

“1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. 6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. 7 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. 8 Come and see what the LORD has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth. 9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. 10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 11 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

She explained how these words are important to her, to remember that God is her refuge and safe place. Not only does this chapter from Psalms perfectly represent the faith of the Haitian people, who have witnessed more than their share of quaking mountains and roaring waters, it represented something so personal to her. The words she recited were from her memory and her heart, and the Bible she proudly carries, she does not know how to read. But the words are written on her heart in something deeper than language.

We went from zero to a hundred in no time at all! After the tedious quiet of being on lockdown for two weeks, I hit the ground running last week with the elder advisor team. Now since Sunday I have been coasting back into a more normal Haitian highway speed, which at times takes your breath away, and is accompanied by frequent sudden stops.

But, last week was amazing! I was so blessed by the team who came to serve our elders and was welcomed in as a member of their team. I told the team leaders repeatedly that we wouldn’t know what to expect and there was a very real possibility that we would end up stranded at the guesthouse, our carefully planned agenda completely dismissed. After tempering our expectations, we took on our full itinerary one day at a time. And, my expectations were definitely exceeded!

We spent three days serving our elders in Titanyen and two days serving those in Cite Soleil. This included home visits, physical (nursing) and psycho/social assessments, craft time, Bible study, physical therapy, housing assessments, and LOTS of worship time.

We spent most of the week split up into smaller teams and assessment stations. Two pre-med students on the team were able to shadow our doctors for partial days. We were able to visit each home-bound elder and have multiple social gatherings with larger groups of elders. One of our dear elders is nearing the end of her life, and we were able to spend some sweet time together with our entire team with her in her home.

I will keep this blog short on details and include lots of photos. 🙂 Continue to pray for Haiti. We have gone back to “normal” life for the time being, and we will continue to minister and serve as we have the capacity to do so. For the most part, the news reports don’t match up with what life is really like in Haiti right now. Roads are clear, schools and businesses are open, and people are going about their daily lives. We will embrace the peace while we have it and pray for the hearts, policies, and realities that are currently governing Haiti.

1 Samuel 2:8 “He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.”